Sunday, June 17, 2007

The Best Father's Day Ever

I hate to brag. Well, no I don’t but what did you get for Father’s Day?
Maybe, a lovely mug hand painted by those who love you? Or maybe a card that said you were the best dad in the whole world? Or maybe you got a tie to go with that pair of hush puppy slippers you got last Christmas?
What did I get you ask?
Oh well, I got something that shows my children truly love and understand me. I got the official Office Space kit. Yes, that’s right. Now if you haven’t seen the movie Office Space I would highly suggest you got out to Wal-Mart and pay the $6.88 to get the DVD and watch it. The movie features Jennifer Aniston and Ron Livingston. You may not know Ron Livingston by name but you’ll immediately recognize him as being one of those actors you know from somewhere. The tall guy from Scrubs who was the gay cop in Wild Hogs is also in the movie. Office Space deals with life in an office and they nail it. They show the inanity and stupidity that invades much of corporate life. Jennifer Aniston is perfectly cast as the TGIFriday type waitress. I think it’s her best role.
The movie is just full of all kinds of wonderful little things that point up the silliness of much of modern life. I won’t tell you anymore about the movie but I will tell you what is in the kit:
- Milton’s Red Stapler, (the one I got is not a Swingline 50 and it’s more tomato than red but I’m being picky.)
- Lumberg’s Initech Mug, he’s the boss and he walks around with a coffee mug asking people to work on the weekends and doesn’t wait for their reply.
- “IS THIS GOOD FOR THE COMPANY?” banner
- Starter “Flair” button, my button says, “It looks like someone has a case of the Mondays.” Flair is the term Jennifer’s boss at the restaurant uses to talk about the “cute” buttons the wait staff wears on their suspenders at the restaurant. She has several meetings with her boss about her “Flair” and how much she should wear.
- PC LOAD LETTER sticker, this was the message that kept coming up on the copier all the time when the copier didn’t work.
- A “Jump to Conclusions” mat, the game that one of Ron’s co-workers came up with after being nearly killed in an auto accident.
- Five “T.P.S.” Report Covers – through out the movie Ron is asked and reminded to use the new cover sheet on the T.P.S. reports. No matter what he says he’s continually reminded of this. It is never explained what a T.P.S. Report is.
- A 32 page book full of useful tips, such as:
o Answers to the consultant question, “What would you say you do around here?”
o Fun Ways to use your red stapler:
 Give it a name and insist that everyone call it by its name
 Put a piggy bank next to your stapler and insist that everyone pay you to use it
 Etc.
o Bill Lumbergh’s line that he used on our man Ron, I mean Peter, “Say Peter, I’m going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday ‘Kay?”
o “PC Load Letter”? What the f*ck does that mean?
o Starter Flair speech, “Well fifteen is the minimum. Well it’s up to you whether you want to do the bare minimum or, well Brian for exampl has 37 pieces of flair.” (What motivation! Huh?)

It’s just too good.
I am a very happy and pleased father this Father’s Day.
And then to hear my daughter got it at the bargain table at Barnes and Noble! Well, that makes me even prouder. It shows she cherishes her Scotch roots. And she shared the giving with my son. What a perfect Father’s Day.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go play a rousing game of “Jump to Conclusions” while standing under the “Is it good for the company?” banner.

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